The first rule of knight club? No stabbing.
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Also, no strikes to the back of the knees or the back of the neck.
Other than that, with blunt weapons in hand and effective, historically accurate armour in place, this sport is kind of a free-for-all.
It's called buhurt and it's a full-contact combat sport based on 14th-century tournament-style fighting, but for modern-day knights.
As Scott James, treasurer of the recently founded Knights of Albion club puts it, the blunt weapons and no-stab rules are small concessions to modernity.
"In a modern world obviously we have to use our hands to go to work and we need our spines not to be broken," said Mr James, who works as an anatomy technician at UOW when he's not swinging a sword. "It's incredibly violent, but also incredibly safe."
Buhurt - meaning 'wallop', in French, didn't exist on the South Coast in 2021, when Mr James moved to Nowra from the sport's Australian heartland - Eagle Farm, Queensland - and tried in vain to set up a club.
He started gaining traction when he moved to Calderwood a year later.
Now a tournament by the since-incorporated Knights of Albion, with its 16 active members, is shaping up as the biggest drawcard of this weekend's Albion Park Show.
The tournament will involve duels from 4-5pm then three-a-side group fights from 6pm-7pm. The big finale is a large-scale battle at 7.30pm, involving "as many fighters as we can field", including many from out of area.
Mr James described combat as "like being inside a steel shell during a hail storm".
"You're walking through and you can feel [blows], but it's not hurting you. It's probably one of the most exciting things in the world to do. It takes you back in history. You're kind of like a crab in a shell - you're impenetrable, to a degree."
"You can hit people with your weapon, you can push them over, you can do dirty tricks.
"You don't just stand there hitting each other, you've got to be smart. And that's the appeal of buhurt. The people who really know what they're doing - they look like they're dancing.
"When you see someone in 30kgs of armour running quickly, it's absolutely terrifying - if you have a lot of momentum, you can knock anyone over.
"We all have beers afterwards. There's no animosity."
Mr James discovered the sport six years ago at Caboolture's wildly popular Abbey Medieval Festival.
Amid the festival's re-enactments, maidens and "fantasy stuff", he realised the knights swinging swords at each other weren't play-fighting.
"They pulled their helmets off afterwards and one of them had blood coming out of their nose. I went up and said, 'what's going on? Did you get hurt? It's just a re-enactment'. They said, 'no, it's buhurt, it's a real armoured sport and you hit each other as hard as you want."
"I went along to training in a nice pair of chinos and that night they basically convinced me to start training with them. I ripped my chinos from front to bottom so my underwear was showing ... That's how I got the nickname 'Chinos'."
The Queensland club didn't have a training facility, so the fighters would go at it in a local park where well-meaning passers-by would regularly call police because "they thought people were killing each other".
And police ranks - along with other emergency services and ex-armed forces - turned out to be firm recruiting ground once Mr James set about the task of setting up his own club.
"They're fit and they like to fight already," he said.
"The sport attracts a lot of history nerds but also ex-armed forces - they miss looking after their teammates in the heat of battle. Everyone who's fought in actual battle says they miss the cameraderie."
The Illawarra club initially trained in backyards and sports field, but has since found a permanent home at Albion Park Showground.
Members' armour and weapons are mostly custom-made by experts in Poland and the Ukraine and imported.
But beginners start out on more affordable terms, using swords crafted from duct tape and rubber noodles, and swimming kick boards for shields.
"You've got to start somewhere," Mr James said.
The Albion Park Show starts on Friday January 19 with show jumping, the "main show day" being Saturday January 20, with a vast program of entertainment alongside exhibits. Sunday's program is limited to horse events.
Visit https://albionpark.show/ for the full program.